I just got back from visiting my family for the holiday and am preparing myself to step back into my “intern” role at common cathedral tomorrow. It’s about to be what I would call “crunch time” in regard to preparation for our upcoming holiday play. This is the first time I have been in the role of director/producer for something like this, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t stress me out a little. The problem is not a lack of belief in the talent and capabilities of the community members involved;  in that I have no doubts.  I worry about my ability to provide the needed structure and containment to allow these talented artists to be seen and for their work to reach its potential. I have to remind myself that it’s not about the product but the process and the experience. Allowing people the space to enjoy and express themselves authentically is most important. I should also enjoy and express myself authentically, which means I should probably chill out a little and turn the stress down a notch. I will take this mindset of authentic presence and enjoyment into our rehearsal tomorrow.

Speaking of mindset, though it sounds clichéd to say this right after Thanksgiving, I must keep reminding myself of how incredibly grateful I am for this internship and the creative freedom, sense of community, and genuine experiences of awe and human connection it has given me. I can’t believe this semester is already almost over. I have learned so much, and I know I will only continue to learn more. Here’s to hoping I do so with as much authenticity and enjoyment as possible.

Mary Schwabenland