Psalm 139:11  “Darkness and light to You are both alike.”

I recently had a powerful experience while talking to one of the women at Art and Spirituality.  I was at a table with two women when one of the ladies commented on how everyone around her was so creative, and she did not feel equally talented; she explained that this is why she was afraid to take the creative writing course offered at Suffolk House of Correction.  I was asking her about this, with the plan of encouraging her to try the course, when the other woman at the table interjected, “I took that course and I’m never taking it again.” This was another statement that I wanted to explore deeper, and before I recommended that the one woman take this course, I wanted to first give credit and respect to the fact that the other woman at the table had an unfavorable experience; it may not be a good course to recommend to someone at all.

“You didn’t like the course?” I asked the second woman – we’ll call her Jane.  She responded by sharing a very important and very touching story with me:

Jane explained that, at the age of thirty, this is her first time in prison, and it is one of the lowest and darkest points in her life. In Jane’s own words, she’s depressed. Thus, when it came to the creative writing course, Jane wrote poems that were dark and sad – reflective of her inner state. However, the teacher that led the creative writing course did not want Jane to read her dark poetry to the other participants in the class.  Verbally sharing one’s writing is part of that creative writing class, but Jane’s feelings – Jane’s truth – was determined to be too difficult to share.  She felt completely stifled and ashamed of her own feelings.  To me, it seemed like Jane was being sent the message that it isn’t okay to have negative feelings, and it’s especially unacceptable to share those dim emotions. I strongly disagree and I wanted Jane to feel validated in her emotions – both the emotions she had written about and the feelings she had about the class – so I shared with Jane that I feel like it’s important to vent your negative emotions because they are a natural part of human experience.  This started a lengthy and beautiful conversation about accepting that difficult emotions are an intrinsic part of life, and one should not be made to feel ashamed of them.

Everyone experiences sadness, anger, and other unfavorable feelings throughout their life, and sharing these feelings with others is one way we can achieve catharsis.  We feel less alone when we learn that our feelings resonate with others; there is a poignancy to life that connects all people, but the potential for that connect is lost when we are forced to quell our challenging feelings because it makes others uncomfortable – likely because they are unaccepting of their own shadow side.  It is okay to feel down, and it is okay to be open about our struggles.

— Briana Heller