Musings from the Margins

Posts to this blog, also published in This Week @ Emmanuel, are written by our student intern from Lesley University’s masters program in Expressive Arts Therapy. This year, we are pleased to welcome intern Mary Schwabenland.

“Musings from the Margins” was founded in 2013, when The Rev. Susan Ackley was Sabbatical Priest and Artist in Residence with us. Over the years since then our Expressive Therapy Interns have faithfully and creatively recorded their thoughts about their experiences during the academic year at Emmanuel.

Miracles

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I witnessed a miracle of life last week at Emmanuel Church. While speaking to marginally-housed women at Common Art, I saw a married couple walk in with a 15-day-old baby. The women and I stopped what we were doing and went over to see the adorable newborn. Where before the women’s faces were downcast and desolate, the sight of this young creature completely transformed them. They smiled, their eyes lit up, they laughed, and they cooed at the baby boy. I was almost as excited to see the baby as I was to see the miraculous change in the Common Art attendees. Who knew that one baby could be the source of calm, peace, and happiness for so many people? It was miraculous to me.

A similar transformation takes place on Thursday afternoons at Emmanuel Church, where I teach ballroom dance lessons to the LGBT members of Café Emmanuel. I think that something magical happens when we move our bodies to the beat of a song. I watch as nervousness morphs into timid fun, which then becomes giddy laughter and joie de vivre. It doesn’t matter if someone makes a mistake or does not understand the foot patterns right away. The point is that we are all connecting with our bodies in a joyful way while unloading the burdens from our stressful week. It is a time where we can all let loose without fear of being judged by others.

The women at the prison often make a similar comment; they are so very grateful to have just one moment out of the week (at the Arts and Spirituality group) where they can relax and enjoy the simplicity of card making. During that weekly session, they do not have to worry about all of the complicated aspects of their lives. I believe that we humans have a tremendous amount to worry about on a daily basis, so it is miraculous that we are able to set things aside and enjoy anything in the present. Moments are fleeting, but perhaps we have more miracles in our lives than we previously thought.

-Evey, 9 February 2014

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Called In

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Yesterday while riding my bicycle from my home to my co-intern’s house to ride together to the prison for Art and Spirituality, I got into a minor accident on the ice that invisibly coated the side of the road I was traveling on. It was not until my rear wheel began slipping that I noticed the sunlight reflecting off of the patch of ice that was directly under me. As my bike slid out from under me and I slammed onto the pavement, I had a brief moment of uncertainty about how bad the accident actually was. In the moments that mark the climax of a crisis it seems as if my rational thinking goes out the window along with my normal sensory experiencing. Then, as quickly as it happened, the wave of feelings and fear come flooding back in like a tidal wave. Yesterday, I didn’t know if I was going to look down and see blood as I stood up and grabbed the frame of my bicycle. Luckily, I suffered no major injuries other than a potentially sprained wrist, and I was able to get back on my trusty steed and ride away fairly unscathed. Continue reading →

Window of Tolerance

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‘Tis the season, for busy schedules, hustle and bustle and weather concerns.  I am feeling the pressure of finals and assessments culminating the end of my third semester of graduate school.  As I sit to write this blog post, I realize I need motivation.  I have a desire to express myself artistically yet an inability to motivate myself to do so.  Where is that coming from?  I am realizing that in the midst of all that is going on in my life I am outside of my window of tolerance.  The window of tolerance is a term coined by mindfulness master, Daniel Siegel, who describes it as an area of arousal in which we can function.  Certain stressors can push us outside the window’s threshold either above the threshold causing anxiety or strong emotions or below the threshold causing us to shut down or become passive. Continue reading →

Letting Go

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I had a poignant interaction with a woman last night during Art and Spirituality that has left me in deep reflection. After our opening circle at the prison, where we each say our names and a prayer is read, participants began moving around the room to find their necessary supplies and identify a seat. Without fully knowing why, I had a keen intuitive sense that I needed to sit next to a specific participant who was one of the first women seated. The other participants were still shuffling around, locating the various art supplies they were intending to use and perusing the black and white images for coloring. I recalled that the woman that I sat next to entered the space in seemingly high spirits, but as soon as I sat down next to her and turned to greet her, I noticed that there were tears in her eyes. She explained to me, in a low voice, that she found out early in the day that her mother was just diagnosed with terminal bone cancer and was in the hospital. She continued to share the enormous pain that she felt not knowing if she was going to get to say goodbye to her mother due to her incarceration. Her pain was palpable. Knowing that there was very little that I could do to console her, I simply placed one hand on her shoulder and offered her my steady eye contact and fullness of presence. I said very little to her as she continued to share about the pain of not knowing. Continue reading →

Curve Balls

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This week I’ve been reflecting on my experiences with curve balls in my internship. At Common Art I was asked to facilitate a framing group. I aided the artists in locating matting and description cards for their art, took note of supplies needed and held space for anyone who desired to prepare their work for display in the upcoming show. It warmed my heart to have one of the participants take the lead in the framing workshop. She has an eye for presentation and really supported another participant in his efforts. Having no experience in matting or framing art, I felt relieved to have this woman participant share her abilities with the group. Continue reading →

Compassionate Presence

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Since beginning at Emmanuel and participating now numerous times in Art and Spirituality, Café Emmanuel, and Common Art, I have often found myself seeking a theoretical framework for myself to work within. What am I doing here and how is it rooted in my value system? What words do I use to describe it that fit me and can be applicable to all three of the communities that I work with as a part of my internship experience? In pursuing this interest I have been able to identify one word that I cannot get behind. That word is help. Continue reading →

Intention vs. Perception

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Do you ever wish there was a way to watch your interactions with others from an outsider’s perspective? Lately I’ve been keenly aware of what an asset it would be to have that reflective ability. I wish to gain an understanding how I am perceived within my interactions at Art and Spirituality, Common Art, and Café Emmanuel. When I was very young I was told by my father that it doesn’t matter how pure or good your intentions are if someone perceives them poorly. Clearly this issue is far more complex than “good” or “bad”, and I’ve found that it holds true for the most part. Understanding perception is something I will be working and reflecting on probably for the rest of my life.

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Bridges across Time & Space

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I learned of my Aunt Libby’s passing two weeks ago and the news did not come easily to me. She came to Asheville, NC the same year that I did- for me to begin my adult life as a college freshman and her to end hers. She moved to an assisted living facility there that offered end-of-life care. The serendipity of this still baffles and amazes me. We spent countless hours together throughout the eleven years that we shared a zip code and she served as my primary family support throughout my twenties. I have been reflecting a lot on our time together and attempting to hold onto the lovely memories of her that I hope to cherish for a lifetime. I want to introduce her to you as a way to honor her. Continue reading →

Creating Families

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Last week in my clinical skills class we began talking about making genograms to map our familial relations and connections. After a long phone call to my parents and discussing my family tree, I was not sure the people on my family tree, outside of my family of origin, were the people I would frequently bring up when talking about the people I interact with. However, I would consider several of my friends family members because of the close knit relationship we have. Continue reading →

Something in the Way We Move

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Recently I was asked why I chose to study Dance/Movement Therapy. My answer was that it has proved to serve me in my experiences and I desire to bring Dance/Movement Therapy to the world and that I aspire to be more qualified in the realm of Expressive Arts Therapy and Mental Health Counseling. After some reflection of my answer I realized that the essence of my statement is a desire for connection and movement. I love to move. I have experienced the transformative power of movement in my life. My desire to be more qualified is really an effort or desire to connect with others on a deeper level and to better understand where someone is in that moment. It was this question that led me to look at the way in which I relate to others and how I can make these connections on a body level. How does the way I move effect or relate to the connections I make, particularly in my three internship areas? Continue reading →