I first visited my internship site on Ash Wednesday a year ago. I still remember how nervous I was that day and so quietly hid among the people. Reflecting on myself this year, I have learned a lot from our community, about such things as my leadership skills, the history of its diverse cultures, cultural competence, nonverbal communication skills, and different life-stage experiences. The joy of self-growing also includes knowing so many beautiful souls here. They have welcomed me to join, even if it has taken time.
Musings from the Margins
Learn, Unlearn, and Relearn
February is the national Black History Month in the United States. This is a way of remembering important people and events in the history of the African diaspora. I understand so many hurt souls have been mistreated for a long time. As it is never too late to have a space for discussion of social justice, this week in common art we started a group-based art project focused on it. Using a black marker to draw a line, each person connected to the line of the next person. After creating a group image of a line, we created art to express our intention toward a social issue we cared about. ( I want to thank my professor for bringing our class the idea of the structure for this exercise.)
The Space Between: On the Healing Power of Gaze
For the last three years, many of us have socialized and worked on Zoom, which, while convenient, is simply not the same as in-person, human-to-human contact, particularly in therapeutic contexts, particularly when it comes to affect regulation. This last Sunday at Tikkun Time, wanting to gently introduce a gazing exercise, I drew from Marina Abramovic’s work The Artist is Present as well as classic theater works. Gazing is a powerful, and often very hard, exercise. Trauma-informed bodies and neuro-divergent brains often struggle to sustain eye contact.
The Value of Giving
This weekend (February 3-4) when record-breaking cold was coming to Boston and surrounding areas, the topic of weather kept popping into every conversation at Boston Warm, common art, and Cafe Emmanuel. I noticed people reminding each other to take care of themselves and to close the windows as best as they could. My instinct told me that the deepest part of myself wanted to do something as a part of the community before the cold came.
On the Fear of Stepping into Ourselves
All year long, I have navigated resistance that seems to get heavier by the day, at times feels like depression; shape-shifts as needs be; takes on oh-so-many elusive forms; mutters in my ear that I can’t do it, that I shouldn’t do it, and even questions what is the point of doing it; finds excuses, blames others, drains me of all willpower to go forth. Resistance!
Being in Darkness
Image by Wanyi Huang
This week at common art, I randomly drew with colored markers a cactus growing under the stars. I shared my art with S., who asked me, “Have you seen the sky at night without lights and moonlight?” He described his experiences outside the city with only the starlight singing in the sky. His experience in the starlight shower was so vivid in his brain. When my image reminded him of this joyfulness and mental stillness, he felt gratitude. They finally see the bright stars in the sky when everything is dark. Indeed, Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Only when it is dark enough can you see the stars.”
If you were a clock, what time would you show?
“Saying goodbye is not easy.” resonated in my head this week. Monday (1/9) was my last day after nine weeks at the Suffolk County House of Correction for the Art and Spirituality Program. When leading the opening group check-in, I asked participants: “If you were a clock, what time would you be now?” Some people said they were in the morning; some people said they were in the afternoon. What spoke to me was that some people said they were at 12 o’clock midnight, which means it is an end but also a start of something new. I related to their words deeply. Indeed, without goodbyes, we would not be able to have a new beginning. The ending of something can also be a new start for people who are looking for a change.
Happy Holidays
Last Friday at Boston Warm, we had a party: there were red-clothed tables, a community-decorated Christmas tree, a Christmas movie, hand-decorated cookies, all of it. It was such a joyful and relaxing moment as a community. As always, my favorite moment was our Uno game (shout out to Junior for winning four games in a row)! I’ve often found that when we play Uno, the game brings us together, and there is tangible relaxation in the atmosphere. We can all focus on flexing our skills. Overshadowed by fun and friendly competition, our differences are minimized. This focus on play is also part of what makes drama therapy effective.
Embrace the grief!
Portrait of Tenzin by Wanyi Huang
It has been a week (two weeks for Common Art and Emmanuel Cafe) of my not seeing people in the group because of the holiday and a cold. During this short absence from the groups, I got a notification about the sudden loss of our long-term “artist in the kitchen,” Tenzin.
I am thinking about the connections between people and me, the experience of loss, and the available place of grief. I know these topics seem like a broad and never-ending speech, but it happens to our community so often. The pain of grief can impact both mental and physical health. Some people might experience difficulty keeping an energy balance, eating, or sleeping. Continue reading
In Honor of Trans Day of Remembrance
Today (11/20) is Trans Day of Remembrance. This year in the United States, we remember at least 32 transgender people who were murdered, with over 4/5th of them being trans women and 85% of them people of color. [1] Something else I am reflecting on today is how immense the contributions of trans* people have been and continue to be in our culture. From the Black drag queens who modeled the original chosen families, to the movement leaders today who continue to use their unique experiences to direct our energy as change-makers, alternative and organizing spaces would not be what they are today without trans and nonbinary people. Today I honor the trans people who were lost, and celebrate those who are living.