Last week in my clinical skills class we began talking about making genograms to map our familial relations and connections. After a long phone call to my parents and discussing my family tree, I was not sure the people on my family tree, outside of my family of origin, were the people I would frequently bring up when talking about the people I interact with. However, I would consider several of my friends family members because of the close knit relationship we have.

As I pondered this element I started to think about the conversations I had with people at Art and Spirituality, Common Art, and Café Emmanuel. So, really and truly, who are our family members? At Art and Spirituality it seems many of the incarcerated women have two families, those on the outside and those on the inside. This last week I became more aware of how being moved from one unit to another can leave some women feeling disconnected from their inside support system. At Common Art I have begun to take notice of how groups of community members form together to create street families referring to each other for example as a grandchild or grandparent. They look out for and protect one another while providing companionship and trust.

Similarly I had a wonderful discussion with someone at Café Emmanuel about family connection and the complexities that exist within family systems. He had both healthy and difficult relationships with his biological relatives as well as close friends and community members. This gentleman expressed to me the idea that you can’t pick your relatives but you can create your family. While that was not the first time I heard a phrase similar to that, I felt I was hearing it first time with the understanding that people become a part of our family for many different reasons. There is much that can be gleaned from all components of our family and it informs us on how we live our lives.

Ultimately, it seems to me that family, at its essence, is all about how you look at relationships. They are the people we are biologically related to, but they are also the people who have reciprocal relationships with us: showing warmth, caring, trust, support, insight, and many other notable qualities. I believe we have layers of family, from those in our “inner circle” of closest confidants out to the communities we participate in. I am reminded by the communities we work with to be appreciative of those I care for and care for me on so many levels. If we take a look around, I think we will find we can create family all around us and for that I am thankful.

With gratitude, Rebekah   Nov. 2, 2014