As Christmas approaches I have been thinking about the importance of family and of the unique ways we create family. It is not just marriage or children that grows a family — making new friends adds new members to a family. While interning at Emmanuel I have had the opportunity to experience moments of love that have expanded my own definition of family.

One of the artists at Common Art, whom I will call Jay, often tells me about how important his family is to him. His children and grandchildren are spread across the country making it hard to even to talk to them on a regular basis. He continually expresses how much he misses his family. One morning I walked through the doors of Emmanuel to see a new face among the group of community leaders. I then saw a look of incredible joy and pride on Jay’s face. The new face was one of his daughters, who had come to visit her father. The joy that was brought to Jay in that moment seemed to spread throughout the room to his extended Common Art family.

At prison the cards made by the women both celebrate and strengthen family ties. Cards are made for children, parents, siblings and friends. At the end of every session we all take turns saying aloud the names of those for whom we have made cards. This is always a powerful moment. One night a woman paused before announcing the intended card recipients. She then told us she had made cards for the Women’s Lunch Place, a daytime shelter for women living in poverty. She told us how they had supported her when she could no longer support herself. They took her in, treated her like family and helped her. She made cards to express her thanks.

At Café Emmanuel the men are all a part of one family. Though many have partners, children, and other blood relatives, the connections they share have united them as a family. They care deeply for one another; they support each other in times of difficulty. When one of the men lost his partner a few years ago, the men rallied around him to create a caring environment for him to continue his life knowing he had others to lean on.

Our families of chance or choice are made up of those who support us and let us know we are loved, that we are not alone in our journey. Our families of chance or choice are the ones we support and love. As I write this I am able to glance up at some of my own Boston family, my best friend and partner laughing at the television. I hope you all enjoy the holidays and have the chance to spend time with and even extend your family.

Sincerely, Amanda Rigatti