A collapsing infrastructure is a time to connect and rebuild stronger.

On Monday night when the women came in for Art and Spirituality, we were greeted with a mix of excitement, eagerness, curiosity, and some mellowness. Overall I felt like everyone was glad to be back in that room with paper on the tables and art supplies ready to go. Since Art and Spirituality happens on Monday’s and so do all the blizzards in Boston, we have not been able to hold the group in four weeks. Part of our weekly opening prayer is “What we want is certainty. What we get is ambiguity.” I found myself referencing this prayer a lot in the past week.

My beloved Grandmother passed away due to complications from a stroke. I flew home to Virginia on the first plane out of Boston before the last big three-day storm. My intention and hope was to make it to her to say good bye. As I sat on the run way delayed waiting for the plane to be de-iced I realized that I wasn’t going to make it in time. What I wanted in that moment was so badly to get home and be with her, yet what I got was a plane sitting on a tarmac covered in ice. I decided to write, to write out what our last phone conversation would be. I decided to use what I had in that moment.

What we want is answers.  What we get is questions.

I share this because I witness individuals working with what they have in the moment at each of our programs every week. The Emmanuel Church kitchen is flooded. Obviously we didn’t want that; yet Common Art and Café Emmanuel are finding ways to work together and make it possible for the meals, which are a key piece to the groups, to still be served without a working kitchen.

What we want is permanence. What we get is transience.

I wrote earlier this month about sitting with an artist at Common Art who was, and still is, struggling to find housing. It had been a particularly rough day for this artist and because we were able to work with what we had in the moment, together we were able to find some peace. Another participant at Common Art has a disease that prohibits the retention of calories. This was brought to my attention after I noticed that this person had not gotten in line for lunch. We were able to set food aside so that it could be available whenever this person was ready to eat. Another artist, a fabulous painter has a hurt ankle. This artist makes a point to get to Common Art weekly with paint brushes in hand and canvases ready to go. This person can barely walk, is on crutches, makes a fairly long commute, and risks loosing a spot in the shelter so that she can utilize the resources that Common Art offers.

What we want is self sufficiency. What we get is interdependence.

So here’s the thing:  all too often what we want and what we get are quite different. When and if we are able to work with what we’ve got, it makes being in the struggle a little less like being in the struggle.  So I ask you Emmanueliltes, can you work with what you’ve got? Can you invite what you get to be a point of entry into building something stronger? Here is the whole poem by Sue Stock.

What we want is power,
What we get is frailty.
What we want is certainty,
What we get is ambiguity.
What we want is answers,
What we get is questions.
What we want is self-sufficiency,
What we get is interdependence.
What we want is permanence,
What we get is transience.
What we want is clarity,
What we get is mystery.
What we want is fantasy,
What we get is God.

 -Jessi

P.S. What exactly is that brown liquid dripping from the ceiling in the kitchen?

What we want is clarity, What we get is mystery.