A skill I’ve found valuable as an intern with Emmanuel Church is one that I learned when volunteering with the Center for Grieving Children called reflective listening.  Commonly when we are conversing with others, we may appear to be listening but instead we’re processing what the other person is saying by evaluating how it relates to ourselves.  This can result in unsolicited (and unhelpful) subjective responses or advice.

The Center’s instruction for reflective thinking is: listen with your heart and ears, not your mouth.  Listen without thinking about what you will say next.  Listen fully. By fully listening you allow the speaker to feel safe and relaxed, leading to a more passionate and honest communication.

With the aid of reflective listening, I’ve been rewarded with moments of deeper revelation, insight and heartfelt emotion over the past few weeks at the programs to which I’m assigned as part of my internship at Emmanuel Church.  One of the gentlemen at the common-art program shared such a personal life changing story with me that he was brought to tears in the telling.  Others, for now, may just share snippets, such as when one of the younger common-art participants expressed his desire to attend college some day.  An Art and Spirituality participant showed such pride in her work that I could not help but share in her happiness.  So I now know how important the role of music is to one of Café Emmanuel members.

The common thread for all of these participants is they have a need to be heard, just as we all do. Most of the time we can’t fix the lives of others or diminish their challenges. What we can do is listen, and in that way provide some care and companionship for those in need.  However, I have to admit, it can also bring great joy to the listener. Where are you being invited to listen more deeply in this coming week?

–Brianna Babick