As Thanksgiving approaches, it is becoming abundantly clear to me, all of the things about which I have to be thankful. I am of course, incredibly appreciative to have been welcomed into such a unique and accepting community at Emmanuel, to have found my career path in Expressive Arts Therapies, to have my family and so many new friends. There is connection, laughter, creativity, and joy in my life where there was not always. This is quite a contrast to the first part of my life, which was filled with struggles to survive in a world I felt misunderstood me. My desire to create and march to my own drum always seemed in conflict with a need for acceptance and pressure to conform. I could not find my courageous, creative voice or give myself permission to be who I was. I am realizing now that the struggles were part of the journey to finding purpose and authentic freedom and open other doors of possibility.
This sense of freedom visits me when I leave Pam’s Prison Art & Spirituality Program. On the surface, I may not have much in common with the inmates but in my heart I know what it is like to not have choices and to be confined. In addition, Common Art has introduced me to some of the most interesting people with rich stories, who often feel like they would like to be seen, heard, and appreciated more by mainstream society. I am so grateful for the chance to get to know homeless and marginally housed people on their own terms and I have been honored and humbled by what they have shared with me. Finally, the vitality, playfulness, and caring natures of the folks at Cafe Emmanuel have further instilled my understanding of how important individuality, authenticity, and community are. All of these groups and aspects of my internship have had a healing effect on me. It is like I have come home and I’ll always know my way back if I get lost. I don’t have to feel invisible anymore or pretend to fit in. Now I get to listen to others with similar feelings and be creative with them. How cool!
It feels ironic that the very things that kept me hidden from the world and myself, later became my opportunities to find meaning and share close moments with others. Working with people with whom I connect in spirit, art, and values has helped me to define myself more clearly and it has given me this wisdom to share: pain finds transformation and beauty and if we let ourselves be who we truly are, we find liberation. We are all connected to eternal possibilities throughout our lives, especially when things get hard, which they inevitably do. Among all of our differences of opinions, experience, losses, even how the world perceives us or how we perceive the world, there are always opportunities to feel appreciation for life, pride in who we are, what we have overcome, and intimacy with others.
If anyone is struggling this holiday with feelings of isolation or pain in their hearts, know that my heart walks with yours because this life is as much a collective journey as it is an individual one. I am certain it is never too late to make changes, open our eyes to possibility, and become the people we desire to be, and this is something for which I will be giving endless thanks.
Sincerely, Liz Kelly