For the last three years, many of us have socialized and worked on Zoom, which, while convenient, is simply not the same as in-person, human-to-human contact, particularly in therapeutic contexts, particularly when it comes to affect regulation. This last Sunday at Tikkun Time, wanting to gently introduce a gazing exercise, I drew from Marina Abramovic’s work The Artist is Present as well as classic theater works. Gazing is a powerful, and often very hard, exercise. Trauma-informed bodies and neuro-divergent brains often struggle to sustain eye contact.

So, cautiously and with a safe word, I offered to the group an exercise of gazing one minute with a partner. To my intense surprise, everyone wanted more time. We upped it to two minutes, then three; and the group was still asking for more time, but I felt maxed out at three. As we took turns meeting each person in the exercise, we were overwhelmed with the depth of connection and joy we felt at greeting each other in such a way. My own experience felt simply holy. At some point, I lost sight of the fact that I was gazing at another person, that they were gazing at me, and simply felt the depth of the space between, the energy that flowed so effortlessly between our spirits.

The trust, surrender, and generosity shared between each person in the room was profound. I remain impressed that we were able to reach such levels of connection on the first try. The way we each drank it like water, the way we felt so nourished and invigorated by the exercise, the way it went so differently than I’ve ever seen it go before, made me realize just how much the pandemic has changed us, just how deeply needing we are of pure, human connection. Spaces like these, intentional connection spaces like Tikkun Time, are a place to get that sacred water; and I am so profoundly grateful to share in this.

Emilie Alex S.