Since beginning at Emmanuel and participating now numerous times in Art and Spirituality, Café Emmanuel, and Common Art, I have often found myself seeking a theoretical framework for myself to work within. What am I doing here and how is it rooted in my value system? What words do I use to describe it that fit me and can be applicable to all three of the communities that I work with as a part of my internship experience? In pursuing this interest I have been able to identify one word that I cannot get behind. That word is help.

I generally wince at the word help when used in the context of a person describing the assistance or support they intend to offer another. When I hear it, my mind immediately races to power inequities imbued in such comments. There is a core belief that is underlying that for me to help you, I must have something that you do not. The things that I have can be ostensible such as my wealth that I demonstrate through the clothing that I wear and the jewelry that I choose to sport, but these “haves” can also be out of view such as social capital, education, and the unseen side of economic privilege which often looks like inheritance, trust funds, and property owned.

Attempting to locate where each of us falls on the have/have-not scale is a tricky and certainly nuanced task, but what I can say is that it is a worthwhile pursuit. Intrinsic in seeking to understand my own privilege, I have unearthed a magnitude of understanding and compassion for who I am and the stories that have been delicately braided together in my ancestral line to land me where I am today. This personal examination has also allowed me to understand the intricacies of a current system that strategically categorizes people in an effort to reward some and diminish others and further, what my place is within it.  

There is a tremendous personal power that I have been able to harness in creating a workable framework for myself within given contexts. At times, such as this one, beginning with a deconstruction of what does not work for me bears the fruit of what can work. Through problematizing the word help I have been able to identify another term that works for me, which is compassionate presence. For me, this means that when I come to a space in the spirit of giving of myself, without attachments, and in service to others, I am open to meeting each individual that I encounter where they are. Pema Chodron offered this, “Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” So, here’s to the work of holding compassionate presence at Emmanuel and continuing to challenge systems failing some and rewarding others while also building new frameworks that support a new paradigm rising.

 – Liana Johannaber, Nov. 9, 2014