I just got back from visiting my family for the holiday and am preparing myself to step back into my “intern” role at common cathedral tomorrow. It’s about to be what I would call “crunch time” in regard to preparation for our upcoming holiday play. This is the first time I have been in the role of director/producer for something like this, and I would be lying if I said it didn’t stress me out a little. The problem is not a lack of belief in the talent and capabilities of the community members involved; in that I have no doubts. I worry about my ability to provide the needed structure and containment to allow these talented artists to be seen and for their work to reach its potential. I have to remind myself that it’s not about the product but the process and the experience. Allowing people the space to enjoy and express themselves authentically is most important. I should also enjoy and express myself authentically, which means I should probably chill out a little and turn the stress down a notch. I will take this mindset of authentic presence and enjoyment into our rehearsal tomorrow. Continue reading
Tag Archives: emotional stress
Just Being There
Leading up to the holidays was a very fun time at common art, of making festive art and talking about plans and memories. Having these things to look forward to helped create an uplifted spirit in the community, even with the weather getting colder. Coming back after the holidays, however, I could definitely feel a slump among everyone in the community. Many of our staff and volunteers were away last week and will be away for a little while for varying reasons. COVID also hangs very heavily over me and the community at this time. So, I felt a little overwhelmed, in addition to feeling that lull myself, I also felt that I had to make myself bigger and have more energy to fill the spaces that were now empty. I know these coming months will be a challenge to bring excitement and art making to our community because of the winter lull.
Processing Emotional Discomfort
As I come into the end of my internship with Emmanuel Church, I am reflecting on what I can take away from this experience. What am I taking with me from this internship beyond the indelible impact of resilient, artistic, and caring individuals? Undoubtedly, the ways I have been impacted by others and the wonderful memories I have made with people in this internship will be something I carry with me for the rest of my life. In addition, I have been reflecting on what growth and new skills this internship has given me. I believe that one of the most important skills I have gained from this internship – something that I can take with me into future career opportunities and life in general – is the ability to sit with my own discomfort. This is not to suggest that I should sit idle if I feel like my personal safety or the safety of others is at risk, but I am suggesting that it is okay and maybe even essential to therapeutic presence to be able to sit with and process the emotional discomfort that can arise in difficult situations. Continue reading
Trauma Healing
It was not that long ago that I was writing here about the treacherous ice on the road near my house that caused my only bike wreck of the winter. I referred to the ice in that blog post as a metaphor for various elements in my life that had been unseen by me and thus caused some recklessness or even damage to others due to my blind sightedness. Well, it’s been a couple months since I let my painful and inflamed wrist go untreated for that time. On Monday I went for an x-ray (finally!) and got the good news that there were no breaks although there was plenty of swelling clearly illuminated. I’ll go back to the hospital in a week to see a hand specialist to see if some of the pain and swelling can be alleviated. So, here’s to not knowing. Continue reading